30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30

"While I’m not exactly where I first hoped to be at 30, I’m exactly where I NEED to be. And I think 20 year old Demi would be proud."

Last week I turned 30, a milestone I surprisingly did not dread. In fact, I welcomed my thirties with open arms - despite not being as 'successful' as I once hoped I would be by this age.

Yes, I barely have any money in my savings. Yes, I still have credit card debt. Yes, my partner and I still can’t afford our dream wedding. Yes, I still rent. Yes, I still haven’t turned my Kaleidoscope News endeavor into a full time job.

But I am the happiest I have ever been.

I no longer have a relationship with my toxic father, or my former BFF. I no longer work a shitty job with a shitty boss. I no longer have friends that use me as their easy punchline.

I have a beautiful partner that adores me. I have three gorgeous fur babies. I have a wonderful group of friends. I have a close relationship with my mum, brother and grandmother. I have a home that isn’t the size of a shoe box. And I finally have an ADHD and autism diagnosis.

So while I’m not exactly where I first hoped to be at 30, I’m exactly where I NEED to be. And I think 20 year old Demi would be proud. While I still have so much to learn, it’s been gratifying looking at everything I’ve learnt in my twenties.

1. FOMO is the type of friction you have to make peace with. You’re not going to be able to do everything your friends, family and colleagues can afford - that’s just the way of life. Trying to keep up with every concert, outfit purchase or travel destination will only lead to financial burnout. Being in debt is not worth the FOMO.

2. If the book you’re reading is still shit after 50 pages, stop reading it. Life’s too short to read terrible books. Your growing TBR list will thank you.

3. Get a mattress topper, it will change your life. As a twenty-something year old, you cannot afford a quality mattress without maxing out your AfterPay. So in the mean time, pop into your local department store and get yourself a mattress topper. Trust me, it’ll make any mattress sleepable.

4. Make it a habit that whenever you walk away from a table/bench/counter in a public setting, always do one look over your shoulder to make sure you got everything. I’m talking the checkout counter, the public bathroom sink, the food court table - as an anxious ADHD girly that gets easily distracted, this habit has been a lifesaver for me and my precious belongings (aka my phone).

5. Wired bras suck. Your busty balloons deserve to be comfortable, not shackled with wire. There are so many brands out there that make beautiful, comfortable wire-free bras.

6. Rest is productive. As someone that tends to feel guilty whenever I’m having a rest day, I remember how refreshed and energized I feel after having a good rest.

7. Never keep your keys on the front table at your house/apartment.

8. Find a few meals you like and learn how to cook them. They don’t have to be perfect, they don’t have to be restaurant quality, just make what you like to eat and eat it.

As someone that used to be very anxious in the kitchen, I can proudly say I can now confidently cook ramen, beek stir-fry, homemade sausage rolls, cob loaf and lasagna.

9. Stop faking orgasms for men. They don’t deserve your A+ acting performance.

10. Find a way to move your body that suits your lifestyle and accessibility needs. If you hate the gym, don’t go to the gym. There are so many unique ways to move your body - aqua aerobics, online dance classes, using Pokémon GO on your walks, rollerskating, standup paddle-boarding, skipping - get creative with it, have fun with it.

11. Get into the habit of locking your car door as soon as you get in the car. When driving with others, get them to do the same. I still remember the fear I felt waiting in a Chemist Warehouse carpark as a man tried to get in the car while my partner was in the chemist. I’ve never been more thankful of the locked car door.

12. Stop dressing for men. There’s more important things in life than the approval of men and whether they deem you ‘fuckable.’ There is no greater feeling than finding your own style that isn’t dependent on the male gaze.

13. Cull your news feed. Why follow social media accounts that make you feel bad about yourself?

14. When dealing with trolls, critics and annoying people in general, consider this - ‘if you wouldn’t take this person’s advice why would should you listen to their criticism of you?’ - a beautiful friend of mine taught me that.

15. Reclaim the hobbies you abandoned as a kid because weren’t ‘good at them.’ Let yourself do something badly, stop gatekeeping your own joy.

    

    I’ve started to draw cartoons again. I used to love drawing caricatures as a kid but didn’t pursue it further as I knew I wasn’t very good at it. Now its my favourite thing to do when I’m only half paying attention to a movie or in between turns when playing D&D with friends.

16. It doesn’t matter what sunscreen you buy, just as long as you use it.

17. Your weight doesn’t define you. The number that appears on your scale holds no moral value.

18. Reread your favourite books. Even rereading them in different formats from physical to audio and vice versa is a beautiful experience.

19. There’s no shame in cutting off toxic people from your life. I haven’t seen my toxic, narcissistic, gambling addict father in 8+ years. At first it was hard erasing him from my life, and I do admittedly have days where I miss the relationship we never had, but most days I couldn’t be happier to no longer have him in my life.

20. If you’ve ever been curious about shaving your head, DO IT! I believe everyone should shave their head at least once in the life. It’s so freeing!

    

    Sometimes I miss my shaved head. I saved so much money on hair care products, plus it was so nice in the hot Brisbane summer.

21. Making friends as an adult is bloody hard. Back in high school, your friendships were a byproduct of proximity. Once you hit adulthood, making friends and keeping them is like a second job.

22. You don’t need to monetize everything. Not everything needs to be a ‘side hustle.’ Your hobbies don’t need to be looked as potential revenue streams. Enjoy your hobbies and let them just be hobbies.

23. Not being interested in politics is a privilege most people can’t afford.

24. People of all sizes need to call on brands to be size inclusive.

25. If you’re someone like me that struggles to do their nightly skincare routine, just do it in bed. Who said you can’t brush your hair and soak your skin with serum while cuddled up in bed watching TikToks?

26. The moment you think you know everything is the moment you learn you know nothing. Intelligence isn’t about how much you know, it’s about knowing how much you don’t. Don’t let arrogance get in the way of your willingness to learn.

27. Stop comparing your success to others’ highlight reel. Stop analyzing others' content with a fine tooth comb and comparing the likes and comments with my own posts.

28. If experiencing writer’s block, just remember - it’s easier to edit shit than nothing at all. Dump all your raw, messy thoughts and ideas onto the page. Make it make sense later.

29. Embrace the cringe. Our constant strive for perfection has made cringe into a lost art. Be weird, be silly, be loud, try something new, be out there - don’t shrink yourself just to make others feel comfortable.

30. All in all, don’t forget how far you’ve come - past you would be so proud of where you are at right now.